This is my little one’s way of bidding for connection with me. She doesn’t just want books and hugs and kisses and prayers. She doesn’t want a cookie cutter bedtime routine, alongside of her siblings, but a unique and personal, secret and special moment of connection.
She wants to know that her daddy and I find her captivating, that we relish in her enough to laugh out loud.
Somehow this bid catches my attention unlike the other nightly requests for a sip of water or one more kiss. Somehow this one pierces me to the middle – perhaps because I can see the cry of my own heart tucked inside of her sweet plea.
I see my own heart wrestle through the truth that I know with the ache I have felt…Jesus loves me! And he loves you! Hallelujah!
But don’t we all want to feel it in just a bit more of a personal way? Don’t we all want to be the apple of another’s eye? To be liked? Enjoyed? Delighted in? Laughed with? For the simple look of us to bring someone deep pleasure?
And isn’t this ultimately the cry of my heart with my Heavenly Father, that He would take pleasure in me, and that I could feel it? And that I could take pleasure in Him, too? That his eyes on me and his delighted smile would fill me with confidence and joy?
It is so unbelievably easy to find delight in these precious children of mine. All I have to do is stop moving for a few moments and watch them, and the joy wells up and bubbles over, and I can feel my pleasure pasted all over my face.
But what is blowing my mind each time I hear this precious bid from this tiny princess, is to think how much more our perfect Father God must be flooded with delight in looking on the faces and hearts of his children…to picture God as a heavenly parent, is to picture a shameless, delighted smile on His holy face.
This week, I’m busting open my imagination to consider that my Father God looks at me more tenderly than even the most loving mama or daddy.
Maybe my Abba Father giggles to himself as he watches me try something new.
Maybe His joy gushes over with laughter each time he sees me remember something He’s told me, and choose to walk in it.
Maybe my smile alone quickens his pulse.
Maybe He hates to see me skin my knee but revels in holding me tight and binding me up when I run to Him for comfort. Maybe He feels like I do, that it is a sacred and delightful privilege to be a Comforter.
Maybe a squinty-eyed grin comes over His face when He sees me stumble and get back up again…when he sees me smile brave.
Maybe he sometimes likes to watch me sleep. Maybe he can’t help it because he’s so enchanted by the curves of my face.
and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37: 4